Twiglet´s Bad Pants Day

Twiglet is what you would call a broke fashion snob. Constantly criticizing the badly dressed, she has a taste for beautiful clothing that she cannot afford. As the equivilant to fashion week in her beloved city of Barcelona approached Twiglet squirmed with anticipation. The day before the show was to begin she decided to take a nap before going to pick up her ticket. Waking up five minutes before she had to be there, she quickly ran out the door in her pyjamas, make-upless and in a bitchy mood. When she arrived, she recieved a frantic call from her agent friend asking if she could go to a model casting (the money would be good)! Whats better than getting paid to wear amazing clothes, she thought, so she accepted and ran to the casting. When she arrived the woman at the door looked her up and down, wondering why such a bum, looking like Mary-Kate Olsen in her typical hobo gear, would think she could get a job as a model. She got the job, proving how desperate some people are for a skinny model, and was asked to look more ¨presentable¨for the job the next day. ¨Maybe it would be good if you invested in a push up bra, make-up and some heels,¨ said the agent. Told she would only have to wear leggings and a t-shirt, Twiglet figured this would be easy. The next day at nine a.m. Twiglet arrived looking somewhat like a baby prostitue, ready for work. As she looked around the showroom, she began to feel frightened. All the clothing was covered in glitter and fake jewels, not exactly high fashion. Her boss finally arrived and told her she would be wearing never before seen leggings, that were one of a kind. As the pants came out of the bag, Twiglets expression changed from confusion to utter disgust. These weren´t Kate Moss, these were Britney post nervous break down! The leggings were meant to look like fake jeans, with the outline of the pockets and zipper, in shiny spandex, with a knock off Ed Hardy look. The glitter and jewels on the other clothing were nothing compared to these blinding examples of pants. Just when she thought it couldn´t get any worse, her boss pulled out a pair with fake straps of a yellow thong comming out the back.....ahhhhhhhhh New Jersey!!!! Apparently the Miami designer thought these were amazing displays of fashion forwardness and asked Twiglet what she thought, her mind was running with phrases normally used to describe Vegas call girls, but she said, ¨Oh....well their very different.¨Seeing the pants weren´t as bad as actually having to wear them, when on the pants looked like body paint. All day she had to stand in embaressment as people asked to touch her legs to see if the pants were real. She was phtotgraphed by magazines, taking the photographers aside and politly asking if they could maybe blur out her face in the photos, in fear that she would be in Vice Magazine´s worst dressed list. After hours of humiliation, Twiglet also had to deal with those who had a remarkably bad sense of style, claiming that these pants were amazing, revolutionary, different (duh they were different, no one else would produce something so hainous!). As a group of Irish ladies walked in her boss asked her to model the pants for them, they all looked in awe. Finally one lady spoke up, ¨I love them, their great, but if we buy them we´re going to have to bring the model home with us because she is the only one that would be able to fit into them. You see in Ireland we like to eat our dinner and this young lady obviously does not.¨Maybe it was the pants, or the feeling of looking like a prostitute, or the fact that she couldn´t hadn´t smoked a cigarette for five long hours but Twiglet let it rip, ¨look you fat bleep just because I´m thin dosen´t mean I don´t eat, I could out eat you anyday and still look better than you, you jealous bleep!¨ And that´s how Twiglet lost her job wearing the worlds ugliest pants.